1 Month

Little Raegan isn't so little anymore. This past week marked her 1 month here on this great earth. In that time, she has started holding her head up longer and longer. She's been doing it since her first week of life but she's doing it for extended periods of time. BOOO!!! She's gained 2 pounds since we left the hospital which makes her a whopping 9 pounds. She is my little cry baby. Where Erick was really quiet as a baby and rarely cried, Raegan cries a lot. Her hair is a big puff ball and sticks straight up when it dries after her baths and is exactly like mine was when I was a baby. One of my favorite things is her hair is dark and her eyes have stayed a blue color. YAY!!! I always wanted a dark hair light eyed child and I got her!

She has been such a blessing and joy thus far and I love that I get to be her mom and watch her grow.

Milk and Colic and Tantrums

Little Raegan is just over 2 weeks old now. Thus far, she is definitely more vocal than Erick was as a baby. Erick cried on a rare ocassion and he slept so well at night. Raegan, total opposite. While Erick had reactions to anything milk based as a baby, Raegan reacts to pretty much anything I eat. It breaks my heart to hear her little cries because she is uncomfortable and in pain from something that I am giving her. I am at a loss right now. Do I keep breastfeeding or do I go strictly formula? I want to breast feed so bad but I don't want her to be in pain. Also, with the price of formula, it would really be beneficial to breastfeed. Either way, formula or breastmilk, Raegan cries and screams unless she is being bounced between the hours of midnight and 5 a.m. Shoot me now! Colic is seriously of the devil. When I was a baby I had colic and from the time my dad walked in the door from work until 2 or 3 in the morning, I was crying and screaming. My dad loves to remind me that I'm lucky to be alive. Now, here I am dealing with my own bundle of joy in her colicy hours. If her hours of crying and screaming were during the day or early evening, I think perhaps I could deal with it better. I finally broke down this morning out of exhaustion and emotional craziness. Lucky for me, I still have my husband home all day every day and my mom is still here helping me out but it is still a struggle. I love her to pieces but this middle of the night stuff is taxing and to top it off, my sweet son has been not so sweet lately.

Erick has started throwing tantrums really bad again. I'm not sure how to punish him anymore. Spanking doesn't work, time outs aren't doing much and so I don't know what else to do. Perhaps I'm missing something very obvious. I know that he doesn't do well with change, he never has. However, I don't know that his tantrums are associated with the change. Maybe it's age, maybe something else is going on inside of him that he can't communicate but it's enough to drive me insane right now. I have a screaming child during the day and a screaming child at night. I can't wait for my 6 week waiting period to be over so I can start exercising and doing something for me. I think that will be my sanity. 2 weeks down, 4 to go.

Raegan Maree

Ms. Raegan Maree made her appearance on June 12. She came into the world while I was watching the NBA playoffs. It was game 1 of the Thunder and Heat series. I had to do something to keep my mind off of pushing. That's right. I was told not to push because if I pushed, she would come and the doctor wasn't ready for her to come yet.

 Labor to delivery was about 6 hours and the last part went extremely fast. I won't bore you with the details but after baby number 2, I've decided if and when we have baby number 3, Alex just needs to leave the room to go eat. With Erick, the nurse told him to go get something to eat because he had time before I delivered. No sooner had he made and paid for his sandwich did the hospital call him several times on his phone and page him over the intercom system because it was time for me to deliver. He had to come running through the hospital to make it in time. With Raegan, it was an all to familiar story. I was dilated to a 6 and had been for hours. I told my husband to go eat with his dad and step-mom because I clearly wasn't going to dilate from a 6-10 in an hour. He proceeded to the cafeteria and ate his dinner. However, in the short hour or so he was gone, I managed to go from a 6 to a 10. Yep. I told the nurse I felt pressure, she checked me and I made that phone call to my husband saying he needed to high tail it to the room.

Fastest delivery yet! One push and a grunt and she was out. Spitting image of her brother but in a petite girly way. She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces. Smallest baby for me and my family. She's precious. I adore her and am completely head over heels in love with her. Erick is so sweet with her, always wanting to give her kisses on her head and asking to hold her. I am blessed. Amongst the trials, I look at my kids (when they aren't screaming and crying) and feel like a lucky woman.

7 Days and counting

Today I am 38 weeks pregnant. My actual due date is June 19th but I have an awesome dr who is going to induce me at 39 weeks. So, in one week from today, we will welcome our second child into the world. A baby girl. Her name will be Raegan Maree (for those that didn't already know). We're not quite sure how our 2 1/2 year old is going to adjust to the new addition but we are hopeful that things will go well knowing that there will be good days and bad days.

One of things I really wanted to have happen before Raegan came was to master potty trainng with Erick. I had heard so many different stories about boys taking longer, if you start at 2 plan on going until 3 and if you start at 3 plan on ending at 3. With Alex having lost his job, once we ran out of diapers for Erick, we decided to just try and potty train him. Alex was the patient one. I figured I would just try after the baby came because my patience was so low. The first couple of days were a challenge because we were trying to do it our way. If it's one thing I've learned most about my son through this experience is that he is one who will do things his way on his time. Lucky for me, it was time to potty train and he was ok with that, we just had to learn to let him tell us when he needed to go. We're still working on the pooping part but we've totally got the pee thing under control and I am loving it. He is becoming such a big boy each day and I am amazed. Now that we're a week out from Raegan coming, I am hoping that he doesn't revert once she gets here.

I'm excited to watch the two of them grow together. There are a few things that we still need to do before next week and we're slowly working on them. Very slowly! I just hope reality hits soon. I am having a hard time grasping that we're going from a family of 3 to a family of 4. Excited but it just doesn't seem real. Nine months has gone by so quickly and it doesn't seem like it can be time so soon but it is and I am ready to evict this little girl from my belly!

3TS

What is 3TS you ask? Third Trimester Sickness. This is my third pregnancy and with the previous two I was uncomfortable in the third trimester, had a hard time sleeping and so forth but never sick. This pregnancy, whole different story. I throw up (which I didn't even do in the first trimester) I feel nauseous quite often and I am back to having to eat something every couple of hours. Last night was the second awful experience with food coming back up. The first time it happened, it was my favorite little hole in the wall, New York Pizza and Pasta. Last night, it was Panda Express. Food coming up is no bueno. The feeling of being sick washes over me so quickly I never know what hit me. Now this morning, I'm still feel the effects of last night's adventure with the toilet. I sure hope the next several of weeks pass quickly. This sucks!

30 Weeks!

Tomorrow I will be 30 weeks into my pregnancy. Only 10 more to go! (Theoretically) At times, I can't believe how time has flown by. At others, it seems as though it is dragging on. When I sit to think of the time left in terms of doctor appointment, I can see it going quickly. When I think of how hot it is getting so quickly (today it is supposed to be 90 degrees!) the time can't seem to pass quickly enough.

Thus far, I would have to say this pregnancy has been the best pregnancy yet. It's only been harder in the respect that I am a mom already and chasing around an active 2 year old, like I have said before. I'm starting to get uncomfotable but that is to be expected. If I can survive the heat, I think I will be ok. My next ultra sound is on Wednesday and I can't wait. I'm excited to see Raegan again but more anxious to see how she is growing and how her kidney is doing. Erick's pediatrician has said that he has seen cases before when the kidney is enlarged the whole pregnancy then once the baby is born, it releases all the fluid and is fine. If that doesn't happen to be the case this time, I'm curious what action will be taken. I've heard if it just doesn't work and they can't make it work then they remove it and I've also heard if it's just blocked they can go in and put a stint in.

I think it just hit me writing this that her birth could potentially be a lot different from the last one. Maybe I won't get to hold her as long right after or maybe she will have to stay in the hospital longer or, who knows what else. The thought makes me a little sad. I'm anxious to have my baby girl. To hold her, love on her and introduce her to her big brother. It will have been almost exactly 7 years since I had my first baby girl. I feel so blessed to get to have another one. One to bring home, to love and to hold everyday. I feel blessed to be able to see my little girl with the big girl that I placed for adoption those 7 years ago and see what kind of relationship they forge.

Life is good. It's full of ups and downs but that's what makes it good. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.

Finally!

So far through out this pregnancy, I have not had the energy or motivation to do much of anything. Once in a while I'll get enough energy to do more than the bare minimum but typically, it's hard to just keep things in order.

Lucky for me, last night I slept like a baby. Maybe it was because I had gone days, even weeks without a decent night of sleep. I woke up once but fell back to sleep quite quickly. When I woke up this morning, I decided to get showered first thing and run to the store to pick up some blueberry muffins to go with the eggs I wanted. After breakfast, I cleaned the kitchen (which wasn't really that dirty as far as dishes go). Generally I stop after I do the dishes but today, I decided I needed to scrub the walls, the window sill, the front of the stove, clean out the top shelf in the cup cupboard and sweep and mop again. Now like I said earlier, typically I would have definitely stopped after that because I just simply didn't have any more energy. Today was different though.

I tidied up the living room, vacuumed downstairs, the stairs and then finally made my way upstairs where I tackled the ridiculous mess that is the kids room. Toys were everywhere! I think they literally pulled out every toy possible and nothing was where it was supposed to be. So, it took me a while but I finally cleaned up and organized the toys. I got the incredibly dusty ceiling fan cleaned, the tall floor fan cleaned and then vacuumed the upstairs. Amazingly enough, I still had enough energy to do a couple loads of laundry. I am amazed at what I was able to accomplish today. It has felt like a fulfilling day and I hope that there are more of these to come.

It may not sound like a lot, perhaps even a normal day for some but for me, today was a huge accomplishment.

I just want to scream

The past few days have been so trying as a mother. The terrible twos are worse than terrible, whatever that is, and being pregnant with little patience doesn't help. Right now, my dear sweet son (when he is sleeping) is cutting his 2 year molars. Two at the same time to be exact so he's been extra ornery. I get and understand that but the past couple of days things got worse. He hasn't really had anything to eat or drink. I'll offer him anything and everything, he just turns it right down. That is SO not my son. He hasn't been sleeping, which means Mama hasn't been sleeping. To top it off, today he has been inconsolable. Screaming, crying, throwing tantrums, nothing can appease him. I was at my wits end. I wanted to lock him in a room and throw away the key to be quite honest. I love my son but today I couldn't take anymore.

When Alex got home, he suggested taking him to the dr tomorrow. I figured, why wait? Lets just take him to the instacare and see if there is anything wrong. So off we went. Instacares in Utah were always busy but not like in Vegas. I loathe going to the instacares here. My son, who doesn't like to sit in one place to long started freaking out before we even got back to the room. It only got worse once we were in the room and waiting for the dr. I wanted to cry, scream, throw something across the room and just walk out. The wait for the dr wasn't too long but he spent maybe 5 minutes with my son, didn't give me the chance to explain what exactly was going on and then told me my son had a sinus infection and ear infection as he was walking out the door. My blood was boiling.

It literally took another 20 minutes to get a discharge nurse to come in and give us the prescription and discharge paperwork. The whole time we were waiting all my son could say through sobs and screams was "I wanna go bye, bye" "I wanna see Dad" "I go home" and I finally broke down and cried. I think when the discharge nurse finally came in she felt a little bad. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

I hate when my son is sick. I hate that he can't convey to me what is wrong and what is hurting. I hate that he has a sinus infection on top of an ear infection. I mean, how does that happen to a 2 year old? When he got strep on his 1st birthday I felt like a horrible mom, how could a 1 year old get strep? Now at the age of 2 he has a sinus infection? I seriously feel like I'm not doing something right. I don't know what I'm missing or what I am supposed to do different. I just hope he feel better soon. Let me rephrase, I NEED him to feel better soon. I'll take normal terrible twos over sick terrible twos anyday.

Purple Yoga and Schedules

For some reason, I have really had a lack of motivation to exercise this pregnancy. With Erick, I was really good about walking. All in all, I gained maybe 15 pounds by the end of my pregnancy and 8.15 of those pounds were baby. I was so proud to be able to fit back into my pre-preggo jeans just 2 days after giving birth. This time, I've already gained 10 and really don't want to gain a lot more but still struggling to get my butt up and walk. Early in my second trimester, I decided I wanted to try yoga. I've never done yoga before but I thought it would be a good way for me to do something for me, my body and my baby.

Alex and I went to YouTube looking for pregnancy yoga dvds and found a ton of clips. One of them was for a dvd put together for all 3 trimesters of pregnancy by a company called Purple Yoga. They are a yoga company based in Honolulu, HI and the lady that did the DVD was actually pregnant with twins when she made the DVD. I went online and found that it was reasonably priced. $19.95 and free shipping, SIGN ME UP! I ordered it and was so excited when it came in the mail. I have had it for almost a week and have done it a few times. I am in love with this DVD. Now my problem is making sure I get my butt out of bed in time to do it before everyone else wakes up.

Schedules are not my forte. I do good for awhile then something comes up and I fail. So, beginning Monday (we are going out of town this weekend) I am going to try to be better about schedules. A schedule for me, and a better schedule for my son. I'm sure I am my biggest enemy when it comes to making and sticking to a schedule but it is something that is really important to me and so important for my son. I haven't really decided what that schedule will be other than I need to get my butt out of bed at 6:00 a.m. to do my yoga. Such a great start to a day! I highly recommend it.

Erick

Little man, you just had you 2 year well check (a little late). You weighed 30 lbs and you are 36 inches tall. The doctor estimates you will be about 5'11 and 175 as an adult.

I just cut the tip of Mr. Binks off yesterday and the first time you asked for it, you looked at it said,"Mom, it's broken." I couldn't resist letting out a little laugh and then told you it wasn't broken. You put it in your mouth and took it out, starting to throw a little fit because it wasn't how you wanted it. At this point, you are still unsure. Lastnight, you went to bed without it like a big boy.

Your tantrums are enough to drive me crazy some days. I hope this will pass soon.

You are starting to come around when we talk about baby Raegan (who is still my tummy at this point). Up to this point, whenever Dad and I try to talk to you about it, you quickly change the subject or just ignore us.

You kissed my belly the other day and told baby Raegan to "have a good day".

You are a such a mama's boy at times, I worry a little that when the baby comes, you're going to struggle with sharing.

Now that Julie is potty trained, you think everytime she goes to the bathroom you need to go to the bathroom. You like to sit down on the little potty with everything still on and on a rare occasion I will catch you taking your pants and diaper off to sit down. I keep hoping that you will want to actually potty train soon. Our first attempt did not go so well.

Your smile warms my heart.

You like to crawl into bed with us. Sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes early in the morning. It drives me crazy but I love to see you snuggle up close to your Dad.

I love watching you grow and learn new things. The other day you started singing a song and I couldn't figure out what it was a first. I quickly realized you were trying to sing Jingle Bells. I have sung that song to you so much, you are truly my little Christmas baby.

Mommy and Daddy love you!!!

The Loa house will be even

I had my ultrasound today. I had been dying to know what we are having. Thus far I had been hoping for a girl and yet hoping for a boy. My poor son is currently the only boy on either side of the family. Unfortunately for him, it's going to stay that way for awhile. We found out we are having a girl!! It's a little funny to me because when we ask our dear 2 year old son if he wanted a brother or a sister, he kept saying sister. I didn't think he knew what he was talking about but perhaps he did.

My husband is a little sad. Happy we're having a healthy baby (thus far, there are a couple things we have to keep an eye on) but he was hoping for another boy. I am sure we will have another boy in our future but for now, we are being blessed with a little girl. I find it interesting that when the baby comes, it will be 7 years since I had my first girl. Paige will be 7 in June and this baby is due in June, one week for Paige's birthday. I'm curious to see how it all plays out. As for Paige, we told her today that we are having a girl (which is what she wanted us to have) and she said "I knew it!" I'm so thankful to still have her in her my life even though I placed her for adoption. I can't wait for June! Good things to come.

Picnik

In my dream world, I am an amazing photographer. In my real life, my camera broke so I just have my phone camera that doesn't even have a flash. Broken camera + phone camera w/o a flash = not many pictures, let alone quality pictures. Today, while I was browsing the web and looking to see how to make my own printables, I read about a site called picnik.com.  I decided to check it out and well, I am in love. It's free to use quite a few features and if you want to upgrade, it's $2.08 a month. Totally reasonable!

My sweet boy, who is actually a holy terror of a two year old, was born three days before Christmas and therefore we just took a few pictures of him in our apartment on Christmas day for his newborn pictures. We were too poor at the time to do photo announcements and I always wished we had something for him to see when he got older. Which brings me to today, when I checked out picnik. I uploaded one of the photos we took of him when he was just three days old and started playing with it. This is what I ended up with.